Diesirae
by Zelosfangurl
Summary: Zelos is asked to murder all of the ToS group by Mithos if he wants to rid himself of the terrible burden of the Chosen that he has had to live with all of his life. Will he follow Mithos's orders? R&R,ZXL


Warning- May contain extreme violence and shonen-ai. If you do not like shonen-ai or Zelos, you probably shouldn't read this fan fiction. 

**Prologue**

_I always thought that my life was meaningless, _the half-hearted Zelos thought,_ until_ _the day that I meet Mithos _

Chapter 1: Decision 

Zelos grabbed his throbbing heart, trying to restrain himself from retaliating from what he was chosen to do, was forced to do. The very thought rove through his mind. Why is it so hard to kill them? Were they actually his _friends_? Right now he felt a rueful, regretful feeling that he had never felt before, a feeling that made him want to rip his own heart out of his own feeble body.

_What is restraining me,_ he questioned himself, _I never wanted to be the Chosen, isn't it worth it?_

All this time he had just been one of Mithos's worthless puppets anyway, one of his pawns. He knew that he was being used and that he was probably not going to survive, but if it lifted the heavy burden of the Chosen, then it was defiantly worth it.

The bright sun showered the trees with a bright intense light that made Zelos's azure blue eyes squint. A mirthful cherry blossom tree leaned over him, throwing the drifting pink blossoms beautifully from the birch branches. The merriment that surrounded him was not the deprived feeling his heart grasped, nonetheless his mind.

His mind demented with the murky thoughts that before he couldn't imagine. Nothing frightened the fearless Chosen of Mana except one thing. One thought that intensified his entire being. The thought of losing Lloyd truly horrified him.

_Why is this boy so important to me,_ Zelos thought skittishly, _why Lloyd?_

This inquisitive feeling that plagued him was not a merry one but a delinquent emotion that just wouldn't leave. It was driving him into absolute madness. The horrified Chosen fell to his knees, his arms shaking rapidly.

The night of the wide full moon, Zelos had been called to the Tower of Salvation by no other than the swine Mithos himself.

" It's nice to see you Zelos," Mithos shambled, " I take it you have information on those fools."

" Those idiots haven't even gotten to their goal of retrieving all of the summon spirits yet." Zelos retorted.

" I see," Mithos mumbled, " I have an assignment for you, Zelos Wilder"

" And that is." Zelos said stubbornly.

" I would like you to get them out of the way." Mithos simply said.

" Get them out of the way?" Zelos questioned as if he didn't understand the question.

" I would you like you to assassinate all of them." Mithos said clearly.

" Yes." Zelos mumbled gritting his teeth.

Zelos controlled himself from blowing his cover and telling them about who he really was, the real pathetic Chosen that he truly had become, no the pathetic Chosen that he was. His nails raked through the brisk green grass. He knew in just a matter of time that he would lose it and blow his cover; he had to slaughter them quickly.

" I have to." Zelos reassured himself.

" Have to what?" Lloyd asked interrupting his thoughts.

" Nothing you should concern yourself about." Zelos mumbled, knowing that he could not lie to him, not to Lloyd.

" You can tell me!" Lloyd exclaimed childishly.

" It's none of your business." Zelos said turning away.

" Come on!" Lloyd said, literally jumping up and down.

" I said _no_." Zelos said quietly, not his usual self.

" No you didn't," Lloyd chimed, " you didn't say _no_ in any of your sentences."

" Just go away!" Zelos growled angrily. Lloyd conjured the most hurt expression that he could muster. Zelos's heart sank lower than he did when any woman made that face but _why_? _Why_ him?

" I was just kidding!" Zelos exclaimed as if it had been all a joke.

" Kidding?" Lloyd said dubiously, for he had actually believed that Zelos was in a bad mood.

"Lloyd you're too trusting," Zelos said, chuckling to himself, " couldn't you tell it was a little fake?"

" But you seemed so serious," Lloyd explained, trying not to look like a complete idiot, " it was as if for once you were being calm and laid back, but I should have known that you wouldn't do something like that."

" Well, I could be like that if I wanted to be." Zelos said seriously, looking up ay the cloudy blue sky.

" No way," Lloyd exclaimed, " you're doing it again!"

" I am." Zelos said in a voice that sounded more like Kratos than the normal happy-go-lucky Zelos.

" Yeah," Lloyd said stupidly, " you sound like my dad."

Zelos was outraged by that comment. He really didn't want to be like that selfish bastard who left his son for Cruxis.

_Am I selfish myself?_ Zelos questioned himself.

" Take that back!" Zelos managed to say playfully, his arms wrapping around Lloyd's shoulder blades.

" But you did." Lloyd said truthfully, trying to struggle from Zelos's tight grasp.

" You have to say mercy." Zelos gestured, enjoying this.

" Why?" Lloyd asked.

" Because I said so." Zelos chimed cheerfully, actually forgetting at least for a moment about his assignment, he forgot all about it, around Lloyd.

" Mercy, mercy!" Lloyd cried out, finally giving up.

" Aw," Zelos shrugged sadly but in a sarcastic way, " I wanted you to struggle for a little longer."

" Why?" Lloyd asked, staring at Zelos with his cute innocent stare.

" That's a secret." Zelos whispered into Lloyd's ear, his tender lips almost touching his small ear.

" Why does it have to be a secret?" Lloyd asked as if he was almost disappointed.

" It's more fun that way, Lloyd-kun." Zelos simply replied.

Still clutching onto Lloyd tightly, Zelos looked up at the sun that was setting in the sky.

" Why do you keep looking up at the sky, Zelos?" Lloyd asked curiously. Zelos was silent for a while, but than he looked at Lloyd and merely smiled.

" Do you know why the sun sets, Lloyd-kun?" Zelos asked the dumbfounded Lloyd.

" Why the sun sets?" Lloyd questioned himself, not knowing the answer but remembered Professor Sage teaching him about something like this.

" Um," Lloyd mumbled nervously, " something about the Sun revolving around the Earth or something."

" I believe the Sun and the Moon take turns." Zelos mumbled.

" Take turns?" Lloyd puzzled.

" Yeah, when the Sun gets tired, it lets the Moon take over," Zelos started, " they work together like that."

" Like a team sort of?" Lloyd said.

" Yeah, kind of like that." Zelos said staring into Lloyd's gentle chocolate brown eyes. Zelos couldn't control this aching feeling that lurched inside of him.

His face leaned into the dense swordsman, his lips were so close, his lips almost felt the soft untouched lips of Lloyd.

" Um, excuse me," a familiar voice of a seraphim interrupted, " what are you two doing."

" Uh, Da…Kratos." Lloyd mumbled, getting nervous again.

" We were just playing around." Zelos said calmly, as if he was defending himself from being scolded.

" Everyone is wondering where you two are," Kratos said calmly, " they're worried."

" Was it Colette?" Lloyd asked in a concerned tone. Kratos slightly nodded.

" I wish she wouldn't worry about me so much." Lloyd mumbled, beginning to walk back to the inn they were staying in.

" Uh," Zelos called out to him, " hey Lloyd!"

Lloyd turned around, that cute innocent look smeared across his face. He wanted to tell Lloyd, he wanted to tell Lloyd how he really felt about him, but he knew that his body would restrain him from the thing he desired the most.

" What is it, Zelos?" Lloyd said, with a big gay smile sticking out of his mouth.

" Wait up you dork!" Zelos yelled, trying to act normal.

" Who you calling a dork," Lloyd exclaimed, " you bastard!"

" Don't get all pissed about it!" Zelos laughed to himself.

" Are you mocking me?" Lloyd asked, drawing his two swords.

" No way, man," Zelos retorted, " you're just stupid!"

" Stupid!" Lloyd yelled, waving one of his swords at the Chosen.

" Stupid, stupid!" Zelos chimed, sticking his tongue out at Lloyd, like a 5-year-old kid.

" Take it back!" Lloyd raged.

All the red-haired seraphim could do at this point is watch, not really wanting to interrupt their little quarrel.

" Kids these days." Kratos shrugged (even though Zelos is 22), as he felt his right hand instinctively sliding over the side of his face.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**A/N: This is my first ZelosxLloyd so will you please review it and tell me what you think about it…please. There is way more shonen-ai and violence in the next chapter. I have nothing against Kratos, I was just writing from Zelos's point of view. There might be a little KratosxYuan later. **


End file.
